There's no "good time" for a stroke

In a large(9 children,17 grand kids) and active family an event such as my stroke competes for attention with other significant "life-changing" events in individual and collective lives. For example, the news of my episode on October 9th "displaced" other exciting reports in The Murphy Family News: From Chicago: the formal announcement of the May wedding date of brother Neil to Cathy Cox. From Austin: Tricia was settled into her spectacular new house with siblings (me) and Meghan who was still in the midst of an intensive Master's program at UT's School of Nursing. From Rhode Island: Meanwhile, on the home front...Mom and Dad announced the momentous decision to sell the family home in Rhode Island- their primary residence since 1959. In fact, news of my stroke arrived the day before Mom and Dad were showing the house with a Realtor. So, understand that that the outpouring of time and attention that supported my recovery flowed from individuals deeply involved in the their own life-changing events.

The open expression of concern and affection within this family in midst of crisis was extraordinary, and thanks to mom, captured in a notebook-- a format that allows me to share a few of the exchanges that passed between family-- scroll down this page to read a few selections and try to appreciate how "extraordinary" guestures arose from people in the midst of crisis by taking some fairly simple actions: simple acts of kindness and open expression of affection.

The narrative below evolved via blog,email and journal entries in a "visitors" log mom maintained during my hospitalization. This spectrum of voices provides intimate snapshots of parents and siblings negotiating decisions concerning my welfare while devoting the necessary attention to significant events unfolding in their own lives. In retrospect, the resolution of these inherent conflicts was both a challenge and an opportunity -- as ultimately, we not only survived the crisis du jour, but we also grew closer and stronger. Time after time, what consistently soothed frayed nerves were simple acts of kindness and open expressions of affection. In most instances these acts arose at what appeared to be the "worst possible time" for each of us to have to deal with this.


For those who read this that may (by fate and circumstance) happen not to be blessed with such a large and generous family, may you still find in this narrative sufficient inspiration to nurture the relationships and networks to which you are already connected. My greatest hope : that these snapshots provide you motivation to seek opportunity to give and thereby receive the type of life-affirming support I leveraged to achieve a remarkable recovery from what should have been devastating setback.

sample entries:

• early journal entry from sister mel started pattern of recalling what I was like before the stroke,
  
• sister tricia echoed this thought by reminding me how much I enjoyed life
• Eileen shared what she loved about me and was so eager to protect and to recover
• Neil's powers of observation and verbal skills identify and celebrate the early signs of promise for a "full" recovery